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Movie reviews: Hotel for Dogs – Part 1
Hotel for Dogs
directed by Thor Freudenthal
written by Jeff Lowell, Robert Schooley
starring Emma Roberts, Jake T. Austin, Don Cheadle, Johnny Simmons, Kyla Pratt, Lisa Kudrow, Kevin Dillon, Troy Gentile, Ajay Naidu
An early contender for worst film of the year, this tawdry exercise in absolute pablum features too many dogs, hideous and charmless children, and the sadly wasted talents of Don Cheadle and Lisa Kudrow.
Indeed, one has to wonder how Don Cheadle chooses what he’s going to allow to be the vehicle through which he emotes grandly and eloquently. How did his agent sell this film because even on paper it screams Nickelodeon tv movie. It should have never made it beyond a small screen treatment but somebody greased the right poles and it inexplicably received a wide release. Don Cheadle essentially gives on of the best great actor in a terrible movie performances of recent memory. He’s consistently the only thing worth paying attention to in this ludicrous retread. Lisa Kudrow manages to get everything she can out of her role and does a pretty amazing job with limited material. She’s funny but it’s mostly her posture and body movements which score the biggest laughs. She’s just so pent up and restrained and her character does most when she’s not actually saying anything or reacting to a situation before her.
Firstly, the kids all lack even a modicum of personality except perhaps for the fat kid Mark (Gentile) who acts a bit outrageously like all fat kids do in these films. Gentile always brings a freshness into his films because he’s a fairly gifted comedic actor with excellent timing and within the limited script he manages to elicit a few laughs in this film. Otherwise, it’s the most charisma deprived gallery of kiddies one could ever hope to find. Even Gentile burns off after a while leaving a chubby husk doing tricks for food. It isn’t strictly a wretched script holding this film face down in the feces but it doesn’t help. It’s true that whenever the kids are on screen, the audience cannot wait for them to be off the screen. It’s fairly simple for me. In order, the most desirable things to see in this film are: Don Cheadle, a few of the dogs, the sidewalks and eateries, Lisa Kudrow and Kevin Dillon, a few more dogs, the closing credits, more dogs, and perhaps maybe a kid or two at the most.
Unfortunately, one has to deal with the kids in this film as at least one of them is in nearly every scene that doesn’t involve the dogs tearing
Tags: Kevin Dillon, Nickelodeon Tv, Retread